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Pipe Gods
Pipes (also known as Pieros) are sacred in the Piero belief system. They are said to be all related to each other and descended from the original creator pipes, Bane and Callie. Bane (??-present) Bane is one of the creator pipes. Its full history is unknown, but it was given as a parting gift by Nabby, another friend of the Signifcant Seven, to the Pot Elf. It was the pipe used by the Pot Elf on that beautiful day, April 16, 2013, to smoke 4 individual bowls. It was also the pipe involved in the First Piero Olympics. Bane was named after the primary villain from the 2012 Batman movie, The Dark Knight Rises, because of the Pot Elf's obsessive quoting of the movie villain during Summer 2013. It was the pipe that Pot Elf and Darkness used almost every day at primarily CVS, the Church, or the Tunnels, among many other various spots they found, until June 22, when they purchased Glory. Bane was still almost exclusively used when not at Gravesy's until the purchase of Timón in October 2013. As of early 2014, one who hits Bane must immediately quote the Batman villain. Originally, this rule was to last for the duration of the bowl, but soon after its inception, Pot Elf and the Unknown decided it would be best to only have one quote per person per bowl. Timón (10/5/13-11/18/13) Timón, according to expert pipologists Pot Elf and Unknown, was one of the original children of Bane and Callie, and also the brother of Quicksilver. Timón was the personal pipe of the Pot Elf, purchased the day after his 18th birthday. Timón was named after the Lion King character, due to the fact that when viewed from below, it resembled a meerkat. It, like Bane, was used almost daily until the tragic day of November 18, 2013. On that fateful day, Pot Elf and Darkness sat at the Church, smoking their individual bowls, when tragedy struck. Timón fell from Pot Elf's lap onto the floor of his car. Inexplicably, it broke in half, devastating Pot Elf and shaking the Piero world at its very core. On January 15, 2014, when the Significant Seven made the hike to their official headquarters at Red Rock, Too College suggested the burial of Timón. An emotional ceremony was held, in which the Pot Elf gave the eulogy for his first pipe and then threw it down a deep crevice in the cave, where it will remain for the rest of Earth's history. Glory (6/22/13-present) Glory's relation to the other gods is currently unknown. It was the first bong owned by Pot Elf, Darkness, and Gravesy, a group that later came to be known as the Heisenbergs. It was named because when Pot Elf took the first hit from it, the only word he could possibly think of to describe it was "glorious." It was the bong in the First Piero Olympics. A bowl from Glory is referred to as a "Glory Bowl" and the first period of its usage (Summer 2013) is referred to as the "Glory Days." It was originally used from late June 2013 until about Fall 2013, when the Heisenbergs decided it was too filled with resin and therefore had a bad taste, a decision that eventually led to the acquisition of Glen Lerner. For months, Pot Elf and Gravesy said they would get rid of it, but quite frankly, were too Piero to ever remember. On June 8, 2014, they remembered their plan, but upon seeing Glory in all of its glory again, Pot Elf was overwhelmed with nostalgia and wanted to use it one last time. He was not able to that night, due to the lack of a suitable bowl. However, on the night of June 10, Gravesy purchased one and the plan was set in motion. Glory would be used one last time and then disposed of. But, once more, when Pot Elf hit it, he was overwhelmed by the combination of a massive hit with more nostalgia, leading him to reconsider getting rid of it. He realized that with a clean bowl, there was no bad taste and therefore, the Glory Days could return. Swarley (12/2013-present) Swarley's relation to the other gods is also currently unknown, although it is speculated that he is the lost son of Timón. It was named for both the "swirly" design it bears and a reference to How I Met Your Mother. For one month following the untimely death of Timón, the Pot Elf was in mourning. But one day, when Too College was visiting from Reno, Pot Elf gathered him, the Darkness, and Gravesy to go pipe shopping. Originally, he did not see much that appealed to him. Then, Too College suggested he look at bubblers instead of just normal pipes. Almost immediately, Pot Elf saw Swarley and knew it was the will of the Piero God for him to buy it. Swarley continues to be used to this day. Phillip Rivers (2/2014-6/9/14) Phillip Rivers was the brother of Timón and Quicksilver, one of the sons of Bane and Callie. He was purchased by Pot Elf not long after Swarley, due to the minor inconvenience of having to fill Swarley up. He was named for the blue and yellow lightning-like design that reminded Pot Elf of the San Diego Chargers. Upon further examination, this new pipe also looked like a dick. The combination of "Chargers" and "dick" told him that this pipe must be named for the dick quarterback of the Chargers, Phillip Rivers. This pipe was used very frequently by Pot Elf and in early June, he officially announced that it was his favorite pipe (with the notable exception of Timón). Less than a week later, at Gravesy Wavesy's house, Phillip was accidentally swept off the table and shattered into several pieces, leaving Quicksilver as the only surviving son of the original pipe gods. It will also buried at Red Rock. Enigma (3/2014-present) Enigma, as could be discerned from its name, is a pipe about which almost nothing is known. It may be a son of Bane. It may be a grandson of Bane. It may be something so ancient and wise that even the Significant Seven will never fully grasp its power and magnificence. Pot Elf purchased it for no other reason than that he knew it was the will of the Piero God for him to expand his pipe collection. When he looked at it, he originally saw the ladybug-like design on the front and imagined he would name it something based off of that. But the more he looked at it, he saw more and more complex designs, hidden to the average eye. Right when he was about to give up for the night, he thought to himself "This is an enigma I cannot solve." As this thought was happening, he noticed the presence of a question mark design on the pipe and realized that its name must be Enigma. Enigma is used to this day, possibly more frequently than any other pipe.